This Just In: Poodles Make Better Husbands...

I was getting ready for work this morning, watching the morning news as I normally do, when a story came on regarding wives and their pets. According to a recent AP Poll - 1 out of every 3 wives say their pets are better listeners than their husbands (go here for the complete story).

Ummmm...this is dumb, and now I am sad. There are two things wrong with this:

    

     A) Pets are taking our place?? According to the wives that were polled, they were more likely to share with their pets because, I quote, "Pets look you in the eye and they don't talk back." True...but pets also sniff each other's butts and poo on carpets. Point being, pets are not a substitute for a husband. Husbands, listen to this...some of our wives are saying that animals otherwise proned to leg humping and drinking out of toilets are doing a better job than us in some areas of our marriage. They aren't just doing better in small areas either, they are doing better in one of the largest areas there is...communication. When Puggy Pajamas can communicate with our wives better than we can, a human being, than there's a problem. The quote above should tell us something about what our wives want...they want to be heard. Take some notes from Little Miss Raindrop Kitty Face and be a better listener. Lord knows I'm working on this.

    
     B) We can do more than pets. So, some wives are telling their pets more than they are telling their husbands, but why? I think it's because their pets are not judgemental. The wives said it themselves, 'Pets don't talk back.' I think what is really being said here is, 'Pets don't act like they know everything or try to force some crazy opinions on me...they don't try to fix me.' Oh my cuss (see: the Fantastic Mr. Fox)...I am a chronic 'fixer.' I think a lot of us husbands are...it's just what we do. It's the 'carpenter' inside of all of us. Ummmm, but wives hate that...not all the time, but most of the time. Wives don't want to be fixed, they just want to be heard. So here's the thing with this...and here's why we're different than pets. Are you ready? We're different because...we're HUMAN!! Whoa!! Shut your face...what's going on here?? What are you getting at Steve??! I'm getting at this, Mr. Questions...we can listen, but THEN we can also do human things. Like give our wives a hug (hard for a dog), make them dinner (also hard for animals with paws), show them more love than just a lick on the face (which we should ONLY reserve for pets, by the way). Crazy thing is, that when we act like our pets and do a good job of listening, we may actually be able to figure out what our wives need through said listening, than trump those snotty pets by acting on those needs...something no pet can do. Take that, Mr. Cuddles!! I just schooled your stupid dog face! This is something that I'm not good at all the time. I'm working on it...and probably will be for the rest of my life.

I'm no expert...and I'm not even close to giving advice here. Actually, I think it is more a reminder to myself...and if it happens to speak to other husbands out there than that's great. Let's do this guys...remember, we're better husbands than our iguanas.

Until next time.

- the Hubs