Someday We'll Have Kids - Reason # 32

Kids are like elves, tiny greedy little elves. If offered anything that remotely seems of value, your kids will do anything for you. Example...

Parent: 'Come here my child. I'm going to need you to do this which I am about to present; take the ladder, that rusted one that's missing three rungs, out of the garage. Then use said ladder to climb up to our very high, extremely steep roof. Once atop our very high, extremely steep roof I will need you to kindly remove all matter from the gutters. What is in the gutters you ask? Well, there are some leaves, a variety of deceased rodents, a few knives, some contaminated needles, and my Adventures in Babysitting DVD, I threw it up there last spring, but now I would like it back.

Child: 'But dad, I'm only six and a half.'

Parent: 'I'll give you a pack of Smarties and a coupon to Popeye's. If you do it quickly, I'll throw in 40 dollars worth of Monopoly money.'

Child: 'What's the coupon for?'

Parent: '50 cents off a ragin' cajun bucket of chicken when you buy three buckets at regular value.'

Child: 'Deal. Where's my toolbelt?'

Circa 1986-ish:  Sister and I are bribed to perform a stage adaptation of

'Superman IV: The Quest for Peace' at a dinner party.

 We are a hit...you're welcome parents.

Kids will also run errands for you. You still have to drive, mind you, but upon arriving your child will run into store/gas station/pawn shop to do your bidding, rather excitedly. I was witness to this genius last Saturday at Blockbuster. A rather hyper and energetic young lad was commissioned with the task of running a DVD up to the drop box while his dad sat in the car. The child was having a great time sticking his arm in the slot, faking out the employees inside into thinking that he was stuck...this went on for awhile. Though not efficient, the exuberant child got the job done...and Dad could eat his Ted Drewe's in peace if only for a few minutes. Well done Dad...and well done son.

-the Hubs