Story by Colin McFarner
Photos by Cindy Wampler
The Stretch of Pernod Ave. from Hampton to Kingshighway is in a different time zone. More specifically, it is exactly 72 hours ahead of everyone else in the world. How did this happen? How was such a small stretch of road catipulted three days into the future? Most scientists believe this was caused by a seismic shift in the earth's plates just below the street, around 1600 A.D. The plates shifted so rapidly, that the street was actually moving on its own, rotating and circumventing the earth at such a rapid pace, that it actually forgoed any time laws and jumped 72 hours ahead of everyone else on earth (approx. 3 days).
Illustration courtesy Wikipedia
For a better illustration, picture this stretch of road as half of a hamster wheel. As the earth's crust shifted below the expanse, this 'hamster wheel' began rotating over the earth, bypassing everything in its path and traveling at an extrememly high Rate of Inertia (ROI). This, of course, was many years ago...but the confusion and struggle of the neighborhood's inhabitants still remains. Case in point could be witnessed just last night...July 1st. As the rest of St. Louis and the country was enjoying their Thursday evening, settling in for the night to prepare for the following work day, this stretch of bewildered houses was freaking out. Due to unfortunate scientific circumstances, the inhabitants of Pernod Ave. were forced to celebrate Independence Day 3 days earlier than the rest of America. Bottle rockets soared and popped, fire crackers exploded, and beer after beer was emptied. Struggling to find a way in their time jerked world, the people of Pernod were only doing what time and space was forcing them to. Unfortuntely for the surrounding area, who were still in current time and not at all ready to celebrate, this was a bit of a hindrance...
Fireworks light up the sky above the Pernod neighborhood on July 1st
Police Chief Roger Borrelli:
"We're in kind of a pickle, ya know? I mean, part of me wants to arrest these folks...but gosh darn it, it's just not their fault, ya know? I mean, what are they is supposed to do? It wouldn't be fair to make them celebrate on Sunday, 'cause for them that would be the 7th! Whoever heard of the 7th of July being a holiday? I sure as heck have not...that's just not patriotic. That's just not what Jefferson had in mind when he crossed the Pacific and discovered New Jersey all those years ago."
So with that, the party continued, late into the night. Law enforcement was rendered useless and the ever continuing struggle of the neighborhood of the PAST (Pernod Avenue Standard Time) continues. Maybe one day scientists will uncover the solution that will eventually return this confused neighborhood to a more sustainable time zone, or at least get them to be on the same day as everyone else.
That's so wierd that this was in National Geographic today, because Janele and I live in this same neighborhood and were up all night wondering what the crap was going on?? Glad we got an explanation...I can't believe I hadn't known this until just today. Wow.
- the Hubs
Very interesting. We had a house or two on our block that were having a similar issue, but, fortunately, they were less inclined to celebrate after sleeping hours.
ReplyDeleteInteresting to me, that there were people "having this issue" on my block because I do not recall it at all...
ReplyDelete